


Delectably Villainous

by Cadapech



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-01-22 17:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12486840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadapech/pseuds/Cadapech
Summary: In a manor in the suberbs of an unknown city four beings exist. One, a soft and cuddly creature filled with nothing but kindness and love. Another a zainy woman of questionable origins in love with a being who seemingly wants nothing to do with her. A scientist who is pushed to wits end, day after day, churning out devices to please the third - and most important - 'person'.Finally there's the boss, the head of the household and owner of the fine company the previous three find themselves employed at. They don't know exactly WHAT it is save for the fact that 'he' revels in terrorizing suspecting, and un-suspecting, victims.Create for destruction. Sell for mayhem. Whatever the cost, cause chaos; but don't forget to have a little fun on the side, because exploring emotions is fun!|| x ||A collection of Villainous one shots. Enjoy.





	1. Broken Smiles

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first time writing a fanfiction that I am remotely proud of. My childhood Naruto fan days are behind me. Forever. I burned them. I hope you all enjoy these as much as I love writing them!

Dementia looked at herself in the mirror, opening her mouth she checked her fangs, and then her tongue. Normal, well as normal as a lizard girl could be. Her head cocked to the side while she examined her hair and then her eyes. Everything was as it was usually - her hand went over her chest - even the aching. Frowning at her reflexion she pushed herself away and headed out the door of her room and towards the kitchen, there 5.0.5 was busy setting up the table with breakfast.

"Wow, we're the only one's up? Not even Flugbug is here!" It was strange not to see the scientist in his usual spot with a steaming cup of coffee - the same goes for her boss who is usually down already barking orders at the poor lad; but she knew why, and honestly she wished she didn't.

"Aroo." 5.0.5 placed a plate full of dead rodents in front of her and she licked her lips in anticipation.

"We've got the whole kitchen to ourselves!" She cheered only to watch as Dr. Flug stumbled in with Black Hat hot on his trail. Her boss was snickering with his hand on the scientist's shoulder but he pulled it off as they were about to reach the table. She still saw though and she could feel her stomach flip over itself.

"Good morning, Flugsie!" An arm wrapped around the jittery male's shoulder and as she smiled she took a large bite of the rat she was currently holding. Of course it was still cold so there was no blood to be had but just the crunch had the doctor fiddling with his fingers. Good.

"H-Hi Dementia." he squeaked, and she let out a hearty laugh moving on to try and hug her boss.

"Good morning~!" Her arms almost fully reached around him before the but of a cane pressed into her cheek and kept her from truly embracing him. She tried for a full minute before giving up and just sitting back down. Slurping up the rest of her meal she grabbed a tooth pick, fitting it between her incisor and front tooth.

"What have you two been up to?" The question sounded more accusatory than she'd originally intended and she could tell by the look on their faces that she'd stepped out of bounds. Flug had begun to wring his hands and looked everywhere but at her while Black Hat cleared his throat prompting the scientist to scoot away and grab some coffee.

"Mr. Black Hat, s-sir, was just helping me with my newest project."

"Oh, can I see? I want to see! Come on Flugbug, don't leave me hanging!"

"A-Alright, but only a-after the commercial. C-Can't have you breaking it beforehand."

"Boo! That's no fun, I want to see it now." Pouting she grabbed onto his coffee mug and held it behind her snickering and giggling as the man tried desperately to reach for it.

"Dementia." Black Hat growled, forcing her to pause and turn to face him, her hair bristeling defensively.

"Yes, love?"

He grimaced, "I won't have you ruining what will be an important sale. You are NOT to touch that prototype, do you understand?"

While she was watching him Flug had grabbed his coffee mug and sat down at the table, 5.0.5 handing him a stack of pancakes. She didn't miss the beginning of a bite mark on his neck and when he felt her gaze he stiffened and put a hand over it. She pretended not to see.

"Yes, Mr. Blacky-boo." She sat back down, finishing off her plate before standing up, crawling onto the wall, and scampering up the ceiling. "Well I have things to destroy, I'll catch you later."

Black Hat eyed her, his gaze curious for the first time ever and she had to fight back the tears as he stole a glance at Flug who shrugged his shoulders. Before she could watch anything else she scurried out of the kitchen and back towards her room through the ventilation system. Reaching her room she threw herself onto her bed whimpering at the mural of Black Hat pictures on the far left wall. Standing up she hissed to herself and tore her hands through them knocking the photos onto the ground. When she'd finished she picked them all up and threw them into her garbage can, taking out the bag and tying it tightly. 5.0.5 would be in later today to pick it up.

Maybe she should take the garbage out herself, less the bear's claws break the bag and all of its contents spilled before him. She didn't know what she would do if he saw, although he'd be expecting it all save for the X's she'd drawn on Flug's face. Well the scientist deserved it, he'd made things difficult. At least when she'd first came here Black Hat had regarded them both equally, she'd had a chance! Her fist slams against the wall. And now...now she's stuck in an isoceles triangle, and yes, she does know what those are.

She didn't realize she was crying until she closed her eyes and felt the wetness dribble down her cheeks. Quickly she wiped her face on her sleeved hand, moving to sit on her bed before curling up. It'd be best if she got some rest, after all, smiling was going to take an awful lot of work from now on.


	2. Lovely (Eugh)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat is suffering from feelings, feelings with which he knows the cure of. It's time for another refill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one will be Black Hat/Demencia because we don't get much love for her.

Pacing back and forth in his office he lets the rumble in his chest wash over him, and effectively tries to push it down. This is ridiculous, preposturous, _sickening_.

His tongue flicks between his teeth before slipping back in, grazing itself on his fangs. It slices open, green ooze filling his mouth. He even **tastes** different.

"Dr. Flug!" He yells, and soon enough the scientist is at his door scrambling to fix his bag, residue of whatever he was eating stuck to the front of his labcoat.

"Y-Yes sir, Black Hat, sir!?"

"I need you to make this for me." He tosses a piece of paper towards the man who stumbles forward trying to catch it. It hits the floor and then he pulls it between his orange gloved fingers, crinkling it.

"B-But sir, I don't have...these materials," Flug's voice fades.

"Then get them." When the young male doesn't move he snarls and tosses him a heavy book. "Here, your map. Now get out."

"B-But how do I r-read-"

" _ **GET OUT!**_ "

Flug sprints off, nearly tripping on his way through the door before she comes bouncing in; ripped, striped tights and all.

" _Oh Blackhat._ " She calls, immediately hopping onto his desk. He growls in response to the lizard girl now sitting ontop of his table.

"What do you want Dementia."

She leaned forward, her face almost flushed with his and sniffed. "What is that smell, are those... hormones?"

"I don't have hormones, I have auras, evil ones." He tenses, glaring into her eyes while his hands fidget beneath the desk, clawing at each other.

"Well whatever it is, it smells good. You smell good, like gooder than usual!"

'Gooder?' he thinks.

"We should kiss!"

"Ackhbrlgh!" He grabs the base of his throat.

"What's wrong Blacksie? It's just a kiss."

"Leave, Dementia."

"Oh come on. You never kiss me."

"Leave. Dementia."

"But sir!"

"I said **_LEAVE_** , Dementia!" Black Hat roared, his form taking up most of the office space while the reptilian female cowered before squeaking. His claws reached out to grab her before she could scuttle away and she shook while he retracted his hand and sunk into his chair.

Watching her scamper up the wall his gaze followed her while she disappeared into the grates. He flexed his fingers, extracting and retracting his claws to examine the sharpness. At least she was gone.

The rest of the day went slightly normal. He arrived in the kitchen to find Dr. Flug hunched over the large tome he had given him. 5.0.5 was busy making sandwhiches, however, Dementia was nowhere to be seen. A fact which bothered him.

Deciding to quench his growing gut feelings with anger he shifted to smoke, slithering behind Flug and looming over his shoulder. He watched as the inventor's shoulders raised, jittering as his head ticked to look back at him.

"Y-Yes sir?" Flug stammered.

"What are you still doing here."

"W-well. I just. I was. Um, decoding the symbols in this book so I can follow the map and get to-"

"For the love of death and all that is evil, **_get out there._** " With that Black hat booted the scientist out of his seat and towards the door.

With a heavy groan he fell into the now vacant chair and dragged his fingers down his face.

"5.0.5! Can I have a snack, I need some comfort food! Black Hat yelled at me today and I-" Her foot was halfway into the room, the door resting against her shoulderblade.

"Dementia," he nodded.

"Black Hat, Sir."

"Come here."

Her footsteps were slow, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from lashing out and tearing her legs off.

"Yes?"

With her now at his side he raised a gloved finger and brushed her bangs behind her ear, his eyes still cold. "What have you been doing today?"

"W-well I was just going to go bother Flugsie- Dr. Flug and then maybe go pick on some heroes."

"Hn. I see. Meet me in my office in ten minutes. Don't be late." Then he stood up, his hands behind his back as he strolled out of the kitchen, 5.0.5 watching his back intently.

Five minutes in his space and he couldn't sit still. So instead he hung himself from the ceiling tasting the air and he detected it, the same scent she had smelled twenty minutes ago. Attempts to repress it failed miserably, in fact it began to overflow the more he thought about the woman with neon hair.

"Mr. Black Hat, sir?" She scuttles down the wall moving to stand in the middle of the room. Then she looked up while he stared into her eyes. His cheeks were a soft shade of green expanding across the bridge of his nose.

"Do you know why I sent Flug away?"

"You sent Flugsie away?"

"Yes." He lowered himself to the floor. "Do you want to know why?"

"Is it secret? You can tell me!"

He stepped towards her, moving until she was pinned against the door his palms flat against the wood.

"It's because I can't stand you. So he's going to get something to help me... tolerate you."

"You can't stand me?" Her brows furrowed while she began to shrink under his gaze.

"Correct. You make my skin boil, my legs shake with what can only be unbridled rage. I loathe you."

Tears formed in the corner of her eyes and she let out a small "meep" before her sights settled on his snarl.

"Don't cower."

"S-Sorry Mr. Black Hat, sir."

"Call me _**Blacksie**_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, have a hellishly evil day.


	3. Water Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sliiip, slip and die! The quadets go for a trip to a water park. What fun can they have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be Dementia/Black Hat and Dementia/Flug and a little bit of love for 5.0.5
> 
> I wanted to see what would happen if we made Flug and Black Hat rivals.

The park was full, the sky was blue, and the sun was practically turning the sandy ground to glass. Black Hat wouldn't have minded so much if Flug hadn't been so adamant on finding them the _best_ spot. Not like it really mattered, anywhere they went the guests were sure to give them at least a thirty foot radius - and that was them being brave. Terrified the people probably empty out in one giant horde leaving the quartet to themselves.

Black Hat tapped his foot, eyeing the rest of the people currently enjoying their day; a lot of them were busy in the large wave pool, the others enjoying the thrill of the slides. There was even a line for water rafting. Maybe he could send Dementia and Flug on it... and slice the boat. A sneer broke onto his face.

"Mr. Black Hat, sir! I found a spot!" Flug was busy holding onto a popsicle and when his boss turned his face to look at him he could feel it melting at an alarming rate.

"Well."

Flug cocked his head to the side, "Well?"

"Well, where is it?"

The scientist shrunk before pointing over towards a secluded corner of the park shaded by a small tree. There 5.0.5 was busy huddled up into a ball and snoozing while a strangely subdued Dementia was digging through her bag. Nothing out of the ordinary really, that is, until she began to unzipper her shirt and toss it down. Nice handfuls contained by a red and black striped bikini top and matching bottoms as she stripped herself of her leggings and skirt. She removed the shackle for one moment to easily get the tights off but then clicked it back in place soon after.

Black Hat stared, although Flug didn't notice because his eyes were also focused on the female. They both watched as she adjusted her bottoms pulling out a wedgie and laid herself down on her back. Frowning at the lack of sun she stood up once more, scooted into the open, and then placed her towel back down to sprawl out once more.

Oh for evil's sak- Black Hat could hear the laboured breath coming from beneath the scientist's bag, and he would have slapped him upside the head were it not for the fact that he was still captivated by Dementia's form. There were slightly more curves than he'd expected there to be but she was still lanky. Still, those legs, they could probably wrap around someone and- he shook his head in disgust, grinding his teeth together and slamming his hand onto Flug's back.

"Let's go. I'm tired of standing," he said.

They both made their way over, Flug sitting needlessly close to the woman while Black Hat was left to stew in his own devices. The baghead lifted his sack just enough to stuff what was left of his popsicle inside of his mouth.

"Flugsie," Dementia purred making the scientist jump.

"Yes?" he stammered.

"Can you put some lotion on my back, if 5.0.5 does it it will get all in his fur, and no one likes a sticky bear."

"Oh, well I, uhm-"

Black Hat instantly cut him off, his voice a new level of low. "You're a science experiment does your skin even burn?"

"As a matter of fact, it does." Dementia handed Flug the bottle, who then flipped it and began to pour it out. The minute he tried to squeeze some out Black Hat snatched the bottle while removing his gloves with his teeth.

"Using gloves is no way to apply sunscreen. If you want something done right you'll do it yourself." Smearing the cream onto his palms he moved in closer - he could feel his mouth and throat become parched. Then an arm shot out in front of him.

"She asked me to do it. Sir." The weaker of the two squirted some more lotion onto his glove and was just about to reach out before his wrist was snatched and dark claws dig through the rubber.

"Is this, _insubordination_?"

"Yes. Sir. No w-wait! I just. She asked me to do it..." Flug stammered.

"Hnf. Fine, you can do it." ' _But I won't be happy about it._ ' Black Hat then turned to find an empty towel and a stunning Dementia bending over - at the waist no less - back turned to them. What if he could just, squeeze them. His thoughts broke when he saw her lay down on a nearby towel, and some strange young man was busy lathering her up with lotion clearly taking his time - long ginger locks blowing in the breeze. Not even Flug could ignore the tent in the other stranger's pants.

That whole day Black Hat made sure he was next to Dementia and Flug provided the eyes. Any time a male even looked in her direction the Paperbag man would signal with a cough and nudge his boss. There were glares and the other boys shrunk away.

"Aww... I wonder where that guy went. He was pretty cool," Dementia whined, noticing the abnormal distance that people were giving them. That could only mean...

" _Blacksie_... what did you do?"

Black Hat feigned offense, pressing a hand over his left breast. "I beg your pardon. I. Am evil. I did not have to do anything for these swivveling welps to avoid us."

"Yes but they were just fine a minute ago," she countered.

"Shouldn't you be pleased that you get to spend time with I, the great and all powerful Black Hat."

Flug peeks over at them and raises a quivering finger, "A-And I."

"Aroo!" 5.0.5 chirps, having been waddling beside them the instant he saw them leave their resting spot.

Letting out a sigh Dementia turned to face one of the tubed slides. "Fine. Black Hat. Let's go on that slide together! _Couples only_."

"Absolutely not." His voice rose an octave as a green blush tainted his cheeks. The thought of being that close to her... _disgusting_.

"I-I'll go with you, Dementia." Flug held out his hand shakily.

"Better than nothing!" The lizard girl bounced with joy and grabbed the scientist by the hand leading him up to the line - cutting through the people who made no move to raise a stink. Her hair was a dead giveaway.

The wait wasn't too long, and before they knew it they were the next ones up and as Flug went to move up behind Dementia talons grip his shoulder, and he is pulled out of the way and shoved into something fluffy. He looked up to see 5.0.5 give him a curious smile, gently nudging him towards the slide. In front Black Hat stood behind Demmy.

"Hello, my name is Matthew; I'll be your slip-and-slide-guide. Please sir, if you'd please get in first. Unfortunately we are out of double tubes but it is safe to go two per tube." The boy was scrawny, his hair a disgruntled pink mess in a sort of pretty boy way. The light was shining in an odd way blocking the view of his eyes. His shorts were a bright blue, some sort of white camo design appearing by white patches. His cheeks lit up when Dementia gave him an expectant gaze, bouncing on her toes. "Yes sir, just like that. Now, Miss, can you please sit on his lap."

" _ **Wait! What-**_ " Black Hat didn't have time to finish as Dementia plopped onto his lap, her back pressed firmly against his chest. The green of his cheeks intensified as she squirmed, his would-be-nose breathing in her scent.

"Now please wrap your arms about her midriff, and hold on tight. This is for safety purposes."

Black Hat, for the first time in his life, obeyed. He didn't want to waste the energy arguing and/or killing the attendant over something so trivial. Although he's done so for less. He is just eager to get this over with.

Behind them, Flug's hands were in fists, growling as he noted Black Hat leaning a little too close; but maybe he was just seeing things. 5.0.5 nudges them forward as he stumbles onto the seat and then pats his lower legs for Flug to sit down.

Black Hat and Dimentia were sloshing back and forth Dimentia screaming wildly and clinging onto Black Hat's arms while the being in question was simply focusing on her movement against his body.

"This is so fun!" she yelled, her voice just loud enough to raise above the sound of rushing water.

"H-Hnn..." _Stop. Moving._

They splashed into the cool water, and Demencia let out a fit of laughter, clutching onto Black Hat's coat - because what kind of supernatural villain removes his articles just to enjoy the water? He must always look his best. Still, watching her laugh in his arms drew his curiosity and he lowered his head towards her cheek, lips parted softly-

 **SPLOOSH**.

Both Flug and 5.0.5 landed behind them, and Dementia payed no mind turning to face Black Hat who's eye widened before he pushed her off the tube and floated away, leaving her with the other three. She of course started a splash fight with her co-workers while Black Hat dried himself off, the water slinking off of him and back into the pool.

" ** _Alright. Lets leave._** " He said, as he spotted the scientist with his arms laced about the woman's hips trying to hold her from splashing him. Dementia hearing him first scrambled out of Flug's grip and sprinted towards her boss with eyes practically hearts. He began to walk off with her at his side, she managed to slink her hand against his intertwining their fingers. Meanwhile, Flug took her other hand and 5.0.5 took Flug's.

Behind them people began to scream, a lone corpse laying in the bushes red curls fluttering in the soft summer breeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, if there are any mistakes, please comment. Thank you very much. :)


	4. Night Time Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat has a secret in the wee hours of the night, and no one knows what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more LizardHat, the next one might be DemmyFlug or PaperHat. If you notice any mistakes, please let me know.

It was a quarter to two in the morning and Black Hat had finally finished his paperwork. He stood up, stretching his arms out and slinking into the hallway the door to his office clicking shut and locking itself. He arrived at the lab, peering in to see the scientist hard at work on his latest project. With a pleased grunt he moved past the kitchen where 5.0.5 slept huddled on his small bed. Finally he reached his destination, in front of him was a sign plastered onto a door. Red paint spelled out 'STOP' both the 'S' and 'P' backwards.

He didn't even open the door, instead letting his body mistify and slink underneath until he was standing beside a bed. He completely ignored the many pictures of him lining the walls, all of which were circled with hearts and stained with lipstick. There she lay, curled up in a small 'c' with her hands resting near her face.

Slipping in behind her he pulled the covers back over them before she could gauge the change in temperature. His arm slipped around her waist, tugging her back into his form, holding her close. He did not shut his eyes however, choosing to stay awake and simply use his free hand to toy with her green locks and graze her cheek - a warm smile finally gracing his features.

As four began to roll around and she began to stir he pulled himself from under the covers and exited the way he had entered. Heading back to his own room to deal with other Black Hat things. Even so, as he sat in his plush arm chair, his fingertips rubbed together, memorising the texture of her soft skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cuddles are always fun, I hope you enjoyed! :)


	5. Training Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, some DemmyFlug!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dementia didn't always know how to scale walls.

Dr. Flug swivelled around in his chair, lifting the straw of his coffee mug under his bag and to his lips. 'World's Greatest Scientist' his ass. What kind of scientist couldn't even teach their pupil? He graduated with honors, for fuck's sake!

Dementia sat cross legged on the floor with 5.0.5 sprawled out in the corner playing with a ball of yarn. She glanced up at him and Flug felt a shiver run down his spine. She was too eager.

"Now," his voice cracked, "We are going to practice scaling walls."

"But what if I fall?" she asked, her head tilting to the side.

Too cute. "Don't worry, we'll put a net."

"Okay," her eyes flicker from him, to the ceiling, and back to him.

"Now. Come over here, Dementia."

Nodding she crawled on over before rising to her feet, then the both of them walked over to the wall. Flug moved to stand next to it and then placed his palms flat against it.

"So first you put your hands like this, then you add your feet." Jumping he attempts to cling to it, only to fall flat on his rear, leaving her to giggle. "A-And it's just like that."

"Alright... I'll try." She moved forward, placing her hands where he had, but before she could get anywhere a hand was placed on her shoulder. Her brows quirked and as she watched him flick a switch on a wall a lightbulb went off inside her head. The ground opened up to reveal a large spongy net that takes up the vast majority of the floor. All of his tables were pulled to the side and out of the way and there was red tape forming a giant rectangle on the ceiling.

"This is where you're allowed to crawl." Flug pointed to the area and she nodded.

"FLUG!" The doors to the lab swung open violently as a black mass slinked into the room and before Dementia could say anything she was skittering up the wall in fear.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Black Hat, s-sir?" he whimpered.

Black Hat looked up to the ceiling, seeing as Dementia clung onto it for dear life while he clutched onto the collar of Flug's shirt.

"Good, she's up there. Carry on. 5.0.5, come." Rows of razor sharp teeth were on display and his smile pushed its limits the instant the scientist shrunk in front of him.

"Y-Yes, sir. Black Hat, sir."

He was dropped and then left to pick himself up as his boss phased to the other side of the room before promptly leaving the blue bear hot on his trail.

Dusting himself off and swallowing his scrambled nerves he peered back up at the ceiling. "Now try to crawl back down."

"Right! But I'm kinda scared," Dementia stayed in place, eyeing her hands suspiciously.

"Don't worry, I'll catch you if you fall."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

After a few moments of silence she began to move one hand over the other, making her way back to the wall. About half way down Flug notices her eyes widen; and before he knows it his arms are wrapped about her body and there's a stinging in the back of his head.

"Y-You actually caught me."

Despite the ringing in his ears he manages to croak out an, "uh-huh". To which he feels himself lifted into strong arms, something soft and delicate resting on his forehead. Then his back is pressed into what he can only assume is the mattress in one of the corners of his lab.

He lay without opening his eyes, the ringing gone and in its place a dangerous pulse that beat mercilessly against his skull. Probably a concussion. Lovely. When he moved to get up he felt a weight press against his chest, forcing him back down.

"Shhh, rest," and before he knew it something was draped over him, soft and silky while a weight pressed down beside him. He could feel, an arm maybe? Tugging him close and then a few minutes later some light snoring. He could do this, he could survive her; and no matter what, he would _always_ catch her when she fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems like no matter what happens Flug always gets hurt. Poor Flug.


	6. Questions (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dementia has questions, and Black Hat and Dr. Flug WILL answer them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first installment of the 'Sex Ed.' trilogy.

Dementia sat on her heels, her eyes fixated as Flug ran over the details of the chalkboard for the fifth time that day.

"So," she began, "males don't have vaginas."

"Correct." Flug nodded, straightening his goggles.

"But males can identify as any gender if they so choose."

"Also correct."

Her brows furrowed for a split second, tongue extending beyond the corner of her lips. "But that doesn't make any sense. How can you be born a male and then want to be a female."

Flug pressed his palm against the center of his paper bag, _for the fifth time that day_. "Look, Dementia, there is such thing as gender dysphoria. Where you feel extremely uncomfortable in your own body with your assigned gender - if we're going to simplify it, which we are."

Nodding once she began to continue, "And it works vice versa."

"Yes. Now I really have to get back to work."

Pouting Dementia plodded out of the lab, ruminating on the information she was just given. Babies came from mommies, who were sometimes called daddies, and also from daddies, who were sometimes called mommies. She shook her head; it was all so confusing. Even after that whole speal she'd forgotten to ask how exactly babies were made. Well maybe going back into the lab couldn't hurt. Flug had plenty of time!

Strolling back she skipped down the hall only to slam face first into something sturdy.

"Yeow! Flugsie, watch where-" her breath caught in her throat as a suited figure towered over her.

"Dementia," he grunted.

"Hi, Black Hat!" she cheered, causing him to squint.

"Do I want to know what you've been doing."

"Well, I was hopin' Flug could answer my question but maybe you can!"

"You've got ten second-"

"Where do babies come from?"

If the question took Black Hat by surprise he didn't show it. Instead he waited for Dementia to stand up on her feet his lips curled into the usual scowl. "Penises and vaginas."

"Alright! I think I understand now!" She really didn't.

As she hopped off to her room Black Hat made his way back into his office where his features turned the loveliest shade of green. His claws cupped his face and his body trembled. Where the Hell do babies come from?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, haha, poor Black Hat.


	7. Damage Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a rival company rises through the Depths it is up to Black Hat Inc to put it back in its place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a lot of fun to write and it really helps if you listen to Family Force 5's "Chainsaw".

The night was fresh, warm, and brimming with life. Downtown Hatsville was bustling, the average citizen rushing to get home while the creepy crawlers slunk out from the shadows and into the limelight - well, barely. They stuck to the alleyways, partially illuminated.

Angsty heroes stood atop rooftops, too busy brooding to deal with the crack heads and their drug dealers; the whores and their pimps, the thiefs and - finally - the low tier villains. This was a good thing, of course, as long as one did not cause too much of a ruckus one could slip right under the radar.

The familiar quartet wasn't about that life, however. When they showed up things were grand, everyone looked and everyone ran. Tonight their destination was the warehouse industry. Rumours had sprouted that a new weapons dealer was rising in the Hat Market, claiming to make products ten times more effective than those of Black Hat Inc. - and the Lord of Evil himself was having none of that. With his employees at his side he strolled in front of the large garage door. The warehouse was huge, and the amount of people guarding it was enough to make any supervillain want to do a stealth mission - but not him. No, he preferred to face things head on with extra mess - just so long as he didn't have to get hands dirty; except for on special occasions.

"Dementia." He pulled out a golden pocket watch, eyeing the intricate hands that shifted ever so slightly.

"On it~." She purred, raising her hands and punching her fists together. After which she slammed one of them into the large door. It bent in a most crude fashion, getting torn off of its hinges before finally collapsing with a few more hits. The workers inside were left to stare at the destruction a hot breeze washing over the production belt and behind the four villains corpses strewn about the storage yard.

Now it was Flug's turn. Stepping forward he began to wring his hands together before pulling a scroll out of his pocket and unravelling it. "H-Hello. This is an order that all means of production must cease and desist immediately, by demand of Black Hat Inc."

"Aye, and who the feck are you?" It was a woman, standing ontop of a nearby balcony to the far left. She was donned in a sort of military uniform, from where - they didn't know.

"I really hoped you would say that." Reaching into his other pocket Flug dropped the parchment to the floor, pulling out a handheld object. It was round, one button on the very top of it. Clicking it he threw the device as far into the warehouse as he could, and then a few minutes later everyone and the sphere were in the air.

While he opened his lab coat his free hand gave a brief wave, 5.0.5 managing to float near him. He grinned, patting the blue bear on the head before pulling out another similar device letting 5.0.5, Black Hat, Dementia, and himself land on the ground.

"Target practice, sir?" he questioned, finger twitching over the ray gun concealed within his belt buckle.

"Target practice," Black Hat confirmed.

There was barely any time before he was shooting goons and workers out of the sky, and lucky for him he'd brought his new invention. As the people fell and landed their clothes began to disolve and he waited anxiously; then, miraculously, their skin began to bubble - naked forms writhing as their flesh turned inside out, plush muscle exposed to the air, blood squelching out onto the warehouse floor.

Flug's eyes squinted in delight, "It's perfect, sir! You always come up with such great ideas!"

"Of course, now, bring them down - it's time for 5.0.5 to have a turn."

The scientist nodded, clicking the button once more and letting the remaining humans fall onto the ground.

5.0.5's snout sniffed at the ground before he turned around to face his creator, whimpering, only to recieve a pat on the head. His body hauled him forwards and before he could think twice jaws were clamped around some poor unfortunate soul's throat. He almost clamped his paws over his ears to drown out the sound of the screaming, but instead settled on jerking his head back and forth. There was a sickening crack as the body went limp and he moved on to the next person. They, however, weren't going down without a fight and they began to swing their fists before snatching a pocket knife and jabbing aimlessly. The bear simply roared and crushed its jaws into the poor sap's arm, crunching through the bone easily and as he tugged his head the limb came straight off.

It was chaos and Dementia found herself _yearning_ , the boys and girls outside just weren't enough. Black Hat must have noticed her whimpering for he pointed his finger towards a group of women reaching for guns. Dementia ran, hopping onto one and leaning down to press her lips against the female's. When she raised her head again she had a wet muscle between her teeth, dripping crimson onto the screaming girl below. The woman ended up drowning in her own fluids.

A string of bullets were sent her way and she was gone in a flash, scaling the walls and crawling over the rafters. With a delicious cackle she dropped down, crushing another woman's rib cage, the taste of copper still fresh in her mouth. She practically moaned, no, she did moan, hopping onto the remaining females and tearing through them.

The entire time Black Hat watched on, moving to the side every time a severed limb would fly his way. To say he was pleased would be an understatement, it was always a thrill to watch his minions grow - especially Flug and 5.0.5, but that wasn't to say that he was any less proud of Dementia. No. They all had, _potential_.

A flick of his wrist and a snap of his fingers drew his employees' attention and they all turned to face him. Raising his pocketwatch they nodded and then moved towards him and once they were at his side Flug tossed a smaller sphere into the room. They left, Dementia babbling on about how she'd almost hung a girl with her own entrails but they snapped last minute. Flug was enthralled and 5.0.5 was busy licking the blood off of his paws his irises red.

After a while once they were a safe distance away Black Hat gave a nod and the scientist clicked a button on his coat, a loud bang rumbling behind them.

They reached home in record time and each retired to their rooms after being ordered to bathe. Black Hat stood in front of his desk, sitting down to do his nightly report. "Dementia: A+; Flug: A+; 5.0.5: A. Average: A+."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as gory as I could have made it but I need to learn more descriptive words. Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Bath Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bathing children is hard, lucky for Black Hat he's done it before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Daddy Black Hat, I find it adorable to see him in the role of a parent. He'd probably get frustrated easily. He'd be one of those overly stern and awkward dads.
> 
> Tiny Demmy and Flug were also fun to write.

Black Hat was soaked, from his top hat down to the brim of his pantaloons; and who's fault was it?

"Dementia, stop splashing!" He growled, grabbing the other child by the back of his neck and pulling his head above the suds. "Flug, will you stop trying to drown yourself?!"

The little boy whimpered, white irises flittering back in forth in a pool of blackness. His tiny pout revealed small razor fangs similar to his care taker's which often meant he wore a paper bag to keep from being teased by the other children at the play ground.

"Hold still!" The eldritch was busy raking his claws through the young girl's head, trying his best to shampoo it, but it was still so long, and he'd cut it all off last week!

"Blacksie, your hands hurt!" she whined.

"Well maybe if you would wash your own hair I wouldn't have to."

But she wasn't listening, instead her hands were reaching out for Flug, fingers gripping onto his plumb coloured hair - which, in turn, made the small boy press his back to the other side of the tub and slip under the suds once more.

"Dementia, leave him alone!"

"You always yell at me, you like Flug more than me!"

Black hat brought a clawed hand to his face, sliding it down and tearing into his own flesh. "Oh for evil's- no I do not like Flug more than you. He just PAYS ATTENTION."

"Same thing! Say you're sorry!" she huffed, folding her arms over her chest.

Reaching down to pluck Flug out of the water, _again_ , he turned his head to look at the small lizard girl who was sitting stark still. "Look," he began, "if I apologize will you wash yourself?"

A tiny finger went to her chin before she nodded vigorously, "Deal!"

"Fine. I'm sorry."

"Now I get a kiss!"

"No."

" _Puh-lease_!" Her eyes were almost as round as dinner plates. 

" _ **No**_."

With a heavy breath she took to washing her hair and then her arms and whatever else was below the water. Stretching a leg out she smeared soap over it and bent the limb. to reach her toes, laughing all the while. Meanwhile Black Hat continued to rub down Flug who by this time was busy with a small toy plane, slowly sinking down into the water again.

"Flug, will you sit up straight? What is wrong with you?" Black Hat growled only to have the boy cower in the corner of the tub away from him, perfect. "I'm sorry, but staying under the water is pointless if you can't breathe." The child didn't budge. "You know," Black Hat began, "planes can't fly under water."

Flug immediately straightened up after this, his tiny shoulders poking up from the water. "T-They can't?"

The eldritch shook his head and watched as the small boy focused on his toy plane allowing Black Hat to run the wash cloth gently over his skin. Eventually, thankfully, he got them both clean and standing up he plucked them from the tub, taking great care to dry them off with warm bath towels. As they stood there now in their pajamas - and Flug's bag back on - they both yawned as they were hoisted into the villain's arms.

He tucked them into his bed, removing his wet clothes and hanging them by the fireplace, leaving him somehow in dry boxers; and - as they both reached out for him - he crawled in between the pair, slipping under the covers and then wrapping strong arms around their shoulders. The little ones curled into him, drifting off easily while he sighed. He could wait to do this again tomorrow night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!


	9. Boo...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trick Or Treating can be dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a Halloween special, I thought it only fitting seeing as it IS my favourite holiday! Enjoy!

Little Timothy was MOST certain that he did not want to go to this house; no matter how much his friends begged, no matter how much his brother begged, no matter how much his parents begged - he did not want to go to this house. This monstrosity of a house that sat in the center of the roundabout, exerting a silent force that sent shivers down his spine and made his throat dry. Little boys were not supposed to feel this way, and of **this** day of all days.

"Matthew..." he whined, looking up at his older brother who'se pink hair sticking out behind his reaper mask.

"Come on, nothing will happen. And - if anything does - I'll be right here." He pushed on Timothy's back urging the smaller boy forward and towards the iron gates. And with a gentle nod he watched as the little one gently pushed them open.

The creaking was borderline satanic and the path - although nicely trimmed - was brimming with things he could not see, nor wanted to. As Timothy climbed up the stone walkway, pumpkin bucket in hand he could hear the whispers ringing in his ears, _calling_ to him.

_**Come closer.** _

He gulped, stumbling over a rock and nearly tumbling face first onto the concrete. His head turned to look over his shoulder - at least his brother was still there.

_**Closer.** _

"D...do you hear that?!" he called, only to recieve a shake of the head and a shrug from his older sibling. "Okay..."

Drawing a deep breath he straightened up his spine and clutched the handle of his bucket, candy swishing back and forth inside as his steps became heavier. He was going to do this. He was a big boy, he was nearly seven, after all.

The closer he got the more he could hear and they were eager, oh how they were eager. They wanted to snatch him up, pull him off of the path and into the grassy depths. Maybe even a void would open up and swallow him whole! He shuddered.

He was thrown out of his thoughts when his head rammed against something hard and when he looked up he noted he was now standing in front of the doorway. Turning around to check on his brother he notes the boy is but a speck off in the distance. Okay. He was done now. It was fun, and he did what was asked. So what if he didn't knock, it's not like Matthew could hear him.

Little Timothy turned to leave, his foot nearly off the slab of a step when something grips the collar of his red cape.

"Hello, _hero_." The voice was so gravelly he barely understood. His legs wanted to run, and god damnit did he try, but his brain. His brain!

"I'm sorry, I...I'm going to go now. I have enough candy!" Timothy began to thrash desperately, mobility finally returning to his limbs.

"Leaving so soon? Well I guess it can't be helped, still. We haven't had a visitor in _ages_ why don't you come in."

Nails on a chalkboard. It was nails on a chalkboard!

"No thank you! I really should get back to my brother!"

"It wasn't an offer." And with that the boy was pulled into the deep depths of the manor. He cried out as the door grew further away and then suddenly... _nothing_.

Outside on the sidewalk as a cold October breeze swayed his long trench coat, a young man smiled, pink hair fluttering in the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I thought I'd put up a Halloween special, and I hope you all enjoyed. This was written on three hours of sleep and an eight hour work day, apologies if it isn't up to snuff.
> 
> Happy Halloween, villains!


	10. Author Update

Hello all my lovely villains, I was wondering which pairing you would like to see next. DemmyFlug, PaperHat, or LizardHat. The choice is all yours!


	11. Kissing (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When an Eldritch horror asks you how to kiss, you'd better follow through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there was a tie between PaperHat and LizardHat so I decided why not make both. Here is some PaperHat, LizardHat is on the way!

"Well, I guess it feels like..." Flug put a finger to his chin, "clouds. Like clouds rubbing against you; and they snuggle you up and then there's also butterflies and like-"

"Enough, Flug. It sounds terrible." Black Hat huffed, his hands clasped behind his back. "Still. I wish to try this, _kissing_. The mere thought of I, Black Hat, not knowing how to kiss is preposterous - ludicrous, even. As useless as it may seem I must know all, and what better way to catch someone off guard than with a kiss!"

"Right, of course, sir! I'll make you a robot that can teach you how to-"

"No. You're going to teach me. You clearly have the most knowledge of such a subject and I deserve nothing but the best. Now. Begin."

Flug felt his face heat up to obscene levels, "B-But sir, I-"

" _Now. Flug._ "

Gulping the scientist drew a shaky breath and then he took a step closer to Black Hat who simply stared down at him with an expectant eye. Under his bag a small tongue licked over tender lips. He could do this. It was just a kiss, it didn't mean anything. Still it didn't help that he had never kissed anyone in his life- well, there was that one time but that was in grade school! What if Black Hat bit him, what if he was disgusted, what if he gave him more work; okay, that last bit was fine but still!

"I'm waiting."

"R-Right." Well it was time to put all those dating magazines to work. Thank heaven's for Dementia. Lifting his bag a smidgen he put his mouth on display trying his best not to chew on his own lip.

"So f-first you want to, um, Put your lips together, like this." He closed his mouth, gesturing to the form he made and Black Hat followed, a scowl on his face. "N-No, sir. You have to relax."

His boss did as instructed and simply looked bored. It was better than nothing.

"You get close," Flug closed the distance between them, "and then you lean in, and close your eyes."

When he saw Black Hat getting closer he froze and then at the last minute pulled away. "I'm sorry, sir, I wasn't ready - let's try again!" The same thing happened. The eldritch, now impatient leaned forward again and as Flug went to duck something held him up, letting his lips collide with something cold. At first he was confused as his eyes had shut, but then he feels the coldness retreat.

"Hn." Black Hat squinted, his brow furrowing. "It is strange. Perhaps it _could_ be enjoyable." Then his features gained an ear splitting grin.

"What is it, um, Jefecito?" Flug pressed his index fingers together, rubber squeaking.

"There is going to be more lessons. I expect to be a kissing master in ten days. _**Don't fail me.**_ "

"Y-Yes, sir, Mr. Black Hat, sir!" He watched as the ' _demon_ ' strolled out of the lab, the door slamming shut behind him - and Flug, now alone, moved over to his chair and fell right into it. His face was still hot and his heart was beating in his ears. Why did he have to have the world's strangest boss?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for all the comments and kudos! Love you all, my little villains!
> 
> \- Cassy.


	12. First Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat needs to ensure that his employees are capable of getting the job done, no matter what the costs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will put a warning here, there is absolutely no fluff in this one and if anything it gets pretty sadistic, readers beware.

Black Hat stood looming over the three superheroes who were bound and gagged. Their eyes were wide, bodies trembling while they struggled against their binds, each one individually wrapped. Behind him Flug watched on with curious eyes, 5.0.5 cringing slightly but still intrigued; and Dementia was busy burying her face in her hair, trying to hide from it all.

"Flug, you're going to go first. Just like I taught you in class," he said.

"R-Right!" Straightening himself up Flug inched forward, cautious of the fact that at any moment their binds could break. "Right for the juggular?" he asked, brandishing the bowie knife he was given.

"Yes, Flug." Black Hat didn't seem as impatient as he could have been, in fact there was a sadistic form of nurturing layered in his voice.

With a nod the young man lept forward, slipping behind one of the heroes and wrapping his legs around the man's waist. He presses the sharp edge of his blade onto the neck before dragging it. His legs tightened with each buck, one hand holding the super's head still while he listened to the other ones scream behind their gags.

The demonic creature sneered, watching as his scientist shook the now dead hero in wonder. Standing up Flug walked over to him, only to recieve a single pat to the top of his head. It was more than enough.

"5.0.5, you're next. Don't forget to use your claws." Black Hat watched as the blue bear shuffled over to one of the captives and digs sniffs. The man whimpered and the boss rolled his eyes. "Pathetic. _Enticing_."

5.0.5 cut the male free and watched as he sprung to his feet and attempted to fly away, however his cape was grabbed and he nearly choked before collapsing to the floor.

The fluffy creature bared its fangs claws digging through nylon and flesh as he tore into the victim's legs. Eventually his fangs bit into tender innards, the contents of the hero's stomach spilling onto the floor while wails carried through the air.

Flug was more than excited, occasionally tugging on Black Hat's coat and the eldritch was too focused on his other subordinate to shoo him off - or perhaps he didn't care. Meanwhile Dementia was on the floor, covering her ears with her eyes shut. This wasn't okay, no part of this was okay.

' _You're supposed to beat them up and then let them go! That's how it always was. You aren't supposed to kill them!_ ' she thought, feeling her fingertips dig into her skull.

Black Hat finally looked away from 5.0.5 long enough to notice the lizard girl's current position and he scowled. Using a black tendril he picked the female up by her throat, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Dementia, it's your turn. You aren't having... regrets, are you?" Accusatory, so... accusatory.

She shook her head, tears threatening to fall but none were bold enough to do so.

"Good." And he tossed her onto the floor beside the corpse that 5.0.5 was busy devouring with content growls.

Having raised herself onto her hands and knees she glanced at the cadavre beside her and instantly covered her mouth and nose. The stench, the copper, the bile. Too much. She could feel her eyes rolling back into her head but she stopped when she felt a shoe dig into her side causing her to weep.

"Hurry up, Dementia."

Lurching her stomach twisted but she forced herself to look into the eyes of the only survivor. "I'm sorry, I didn't... I never..." another kick to her ribs and Dementia grabbed the man on either side of his head, hauling him forward she then rammed him back onto the wall. She tried her best to ignore his stuffed pleas. Again and again she repeated her actions until finally the poor hero had passed out.

"Crush his skull."

"Yes, do it, Dementia!" Flug piped up.

Dementia glared at the scientist only to growl at her commander, "He's already dead."

Black Hat didn't say anything and after losing a staring contest she clutched her fist. Maybe if she could get one definitive blow this wouldn't hurt so much. That was the plan until her boss decided to let the word 'slowly' drift into her ear in a most sensual manner. One more shake of her head had her taking action her fist colliding with the unconcious man's face and it continued until she could feel shattered bones pierce her knuckles. Again. _Again_. _**Again**_. Until there was nothing but pulp and juice. 5.0.5 sauntered over and began to lap up some of the mess with a happy 'Aroo'.

"Are you fucking happy now?!" Her eyes were fixed on the black dread. On his monocle, on his fangs, and that stupid fucking smile. "Did you get what you wanted?!"

It shouldn't have been possible but Black Hat had always been one to defy the laws of reality, and as his lips stretched under his ears she stood up, picking up a chunk of brain and flinging it at him to which he stepped to the side, Flug eagerly catching it. Tears finally tumbled coating her cheeks and she fled the laboratory, not even bothering to scale the walls.

*** * ***

Sitting up in her bed long fingers ran through red bangs. She was different now, she didn't care now. A life is a life and it's anyone's to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor DemDem, I was wonderimg what it would be like if she felt regret over taking a life. I am kind of enjoying a curiously sadistic Flug and I might make it this series headcanon, what do you think?


	13. Sultry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you want late night snacks but recieve something else entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, villains and villainesses - I'll find a cute pet name for you all, I swear - i promised you lizardhat and you will have it! Enjoy~.

In the dead of the night a hungry Dementia began raiding the freezer and for the life of her she couldn't find anything to eat. She'd already finished off the rats earlier and there wasn't going to be anymore until nine in the morning. With a deep growl she grabbed her hair and closed her eyes. The chill from the breeze did no good for her bare stomach, what with her being dressed in scantily clad lingerie.

"Dementia. What are you doing up?" The fact that it was an actual question caught her off guard and as she straightened up she turned around, the light from the fridge illuminating her form.

"I'm hungry so I just thought I'd grab something to..." she trailed off as he stood in front of her, leaning over her while his arm reached around her waist. His chin pressed onto her shoulder and when she finally clued in to what was happening he was standing straight once more, in his hand a bottle of... questionable fluids.

"Ah, I see. I too am rather, _famished_." He was closer now, and he reached around her again shutting the fridge door and pinning her up against its cool surface. She blushed, her night vision illuminating his face in multiple shades of green.

Then she felt it, something hot, sticky and moist trailing along the crook of her neck to just under her ear. She let out a soft squeak, feeling her rear press against the fridge while a firm chest pins her to it. His hands moved onto her waist and she felt cool lips rub against her throat before something sharp pierced her shoulder. By this point she was panting and her arms had wrapped around his neck. Lowering his hands to the back of her thighs he lifted her off of the ground and placed her back onto the table.

The wetness slicked down between her breasts and then razors, then wet, then razors. Raising her legs she let out a chorus of moans finding his mouth over hers. Their bodies moved in unison, her hips rolling and his pelvis rocking. Their sounds echoed throughout the kitchen and down the halls, moans and - even better - growls.

She whimpered, whispering his name in need and then she found herself alone. Sitting up she looked around the room to find Black Hat no where in sight. Still trying to steady herself she skittered off to her room and threw herself onto her bed. Panting she re-imagined the night's events, her fingers delving down into her lower garment.

Peeking through the door Black Hat licks his lips in a wide grin, holding his drink, and then continues his nightly stroll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's such a tease, I swear. You can tell I've been avoiding smut.


	14. Kissing (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5.0.5 gets to have a rather, strange moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, sorry for the lack of updates, I'm just getting over a bad cold and work. I'm back to writing again. Here, have some 5.0.5/Black Hat fluff because the little bear baby needs love too!

The most docile member of the household was busy dusting one of the many vases that his employer owned when he felt a chill down his spine. Turning around as slowly as possible he dropped the duster to hide his face behind his paws.

"5.0.5," Black hat drawled.

"Aroo?" He lowered his paws.

"Out of all my employees," there was a pause as Black Hat's arms managed to barely wrap around the fluffy blue bear. "You are definitively the softest."

Then something cold touches 5.0.5's cheek, and when he peeks in bewilderment he finds his employer's face pressed against his own. His face heats up and - overjoyed - he returns the affection with the tightest of hugs, too enraptured to worry about his own strength.

"5.0.5!" Black Hat lets out a strained growl.

Startled by the noise the fluff ball sets the villain down and blinks staring at the now scowling face of his boss.

"Get back to cleaning." Then he was gone, leaving the bear in the empty halls to resume his work. Say what one will, Black Hat can be positively adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat is adorable when he's learning how to kiss. Next step, the French kind, and there's only one person left who can help him. ;)


	15. Kissing (part 3) (Finale)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final of the 'Learning to Kiss' trilogy, Black Hat learns how to French kiss from everyone's favourd reptilian female.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIZARD HAT BORDERLINE SMUT. That is all.

She would have been bouncing off of the walls were it not for the fact that there were two sets of claws grasping her upper arms. He was in her room. On her _bed_.

"And you want me. _Me_. To teach you how to French kiss?" She could barely keep the words from rushing out of her mouth.

"We've been over this, yes." Black Hat glared down at her but he couldn't hide the faint green blush on his cheeks.

"Alright, let's do this." With that she grabbed his wrists and moved his hands down to her waist. "You have to hold them close like this." He simply nodded, then she moved to press her chest up and against his own. "Gain as much proximity as possible."

The eldritch furrowed his brow before slipping his arms around her body so that she was in an almost vice grip on his lap and when she shivered he contemplated releasing her only to have her shake her head and grow serious once more.

"Now. Lips to lips first and only after contact are you allowed to use tongue." She watched as he flicked his wet muscle into the air and she could feel her core heat up instantly. Fucking tease. "A-Are you ready to try?"

With a brief nod they began to close the distance, his mouth resting against her own before she felt his tongue on the crease of her lips. Parting them she felt a hot moistness curl around her own serpentile muscle. She was more dominant at first, pushing him back while trying to keep her hips still; but then he seemed to learn and he forced himself back upright. His palms slid down to her buttocks, gripping the doughey flesh. Then he was... was he urging her to...

She bucked her hips once to test the waters, and when he let out a hiss and gripped her tighter she tried again. Soon she was rolling her pelvis ontop of him with his claws cupping her ass. Their tongues collided and entangled and if it were'nt for their skill they most likely would have knotted. Eventually she was pushed onto her back and she could feel a hard lump press between her legs. His palms ran over her exposed stomach and his nails lightly dug into her flesh, droplets of blood surfacing along her pale skin.

"Am I doing well?" he asked, voice muffled by her mouth and she can only nod to which he pulls away and sits up, straightening his suit. "Good. We shall resume training some day soon. For now I have business to attend to. Go bother Flug, or something." Then he was out the door and she was left to sit up in bewilderment.

"Fucking nice." And she was off to find the scientist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy. Now all I need to do is figure out what I want to do for the next one shot. Maybe I'll have them- I got an idea!


	16. A Little Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly OOC, but there is an OC. Black Hat, is NOT amused.

Cadapech sat hovering a few feet off the ground, looking down on Black Hat as he glared up at her.

"You know I could kill her, right?" He huffed, only to see the woman's lips curl up into a sneer. "What?"

"You could kill her off as easily as I could. Which I can't, _yet_."

"Shut. Up."

"Look, you're at the bottom of the current food chain so I suggest you tone it the fuck down. It's not like you're not going to be able to be evil."

Black Hat's claws dug into his desk, pulling up slivers of wood. "Of course I can be evil but she's making me... _do things_ with my employees that I do not... approve of."

"Yea well, she makes me do shit too. Don't worry about it. So long as the people don't demand for more you should be fine."

They both stared at each other for a while before Black Hat finally sighed and let his shoulders slump to which the other grins before moving to stand in the air.

"Well, I have things to do, seeds to plant in people's heads. You'd best be prepared for the next one, it's a doozy." Then she was gone leaving him alone in his office to stew in his own aggrivation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Hat meets Cadapech. More elaboration maybe? I don't think he enjoys these one shots, to be honest. What would the actual Black Hat say if he did find this site? Well, it is as it is, so long as the people demand more The Author will give.


	17. Island Adventure (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just supposed to be a normal business trip. Get in. Sell things. Get out. Of course Demencia wants to play pilot and things go into a downward spiral, literally. 
> 
> Now Black Hat, Demencia and Flug are stuck on an island and Demencia isn't acting like her normal self. Can Flug survive two monsters?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is an update, I've been toying with this idea for a while and I'll get around to writing the next installment of "Questions" just give me a little more time. Enjoy!

"Dementia, I can't see!" Red and black, red and black, Flug hyperventilated.

"Come on, Flugbug, let me try and fly the plane!" She pressed down on a random lever feeling the entire cabin dip as they began to spiral towards the ground.

"Dementia, get off of me!"

"Haha, I'm doing it, look at us go!"

Pushing her off of his lap he tried his best to level the plane only to be sent into the thick forest of palm trees. The wings snapped sending them slightly sideways before they stopped abruptly, Dementia being sent through the broken windshield and onto the lush ground below.

"Dementia!" Flug cried out, somehow miraculously unscathed. He clamoured up from the cockpit and crawled through broken glass and down from the nose of the small plane.

Feet now on the ground he pushed his way through the underbrush and dropped to his knees beside her. Oh no, she wasn't moving. He needed to get her somewhere safe. Behind him the metal carcass rumbled and before he could register the sound there was a dark shadow looming over him.

"Dr. Flug, why are we not on our way to Old Town and instead on this wretched island?"

Flug turned his head to face him, tears streaming down from under his bag, his shoulders quivered. "I-It's Dementia, s-she's...oh god... what have I done." The scientist raised a knuckle to his face. "I should have never let her in the cockpit, it would have been safer to just keep her in the back with you and-"

Black Hat placed a tendril onto his subordinate's shoulder, the tip pressing against his cheek. Turning the man's head so that he could stare at his co-worker the supervillain growled. "Enough of your dribbling, she's fine."

"Ugh, why do you guys have to be so...loud." Dementia sat up now, her mismatched eyes glaring at the pair, "what the fuck happened?"

"You made us crash, now we don't know where we are."

"I fucking know I made us crash, ugh," she tapped her head, and Flug took note of the lack of green in her left iris, instead it was a navy blue.

"Are you okay?" Flug asked.

"Of course I'm fucking fine. What am I, a pussy?" She stood up now, revealing a large gash in her side which she growled at. Flexing her fingers a ball of flames appeared in her palm and she rammed it against the open wound, doubling over, "Jesus fucking Christ."

"Where did you get those-" but he was stopped by an open palm in his face.

"Look, I'm sure Black Hat doesn't want to stay here longer than necessary? So let's find away off of this place, or at least some civilisation." Dementia took one sure step before collapsing once more although this time Flug caught her. He turned to face Black Hat who seemed puzzled. It wasn't the first time he's seen this expression on his boss's face but this time there was something else layered within.

"We should build some shelter and then do as she says. She needs somewhere to rest, I don't think... I don't think she's as fine as she says she is, sir." When Black Hat gave him a nod he trudged some ways away from the crash site and stumbled upon a dry cave. Moving inside he placed her down on the rock floor and then walked out to gather some kindling for a fire.

The eldritch returned with his multiple tendrils holding onto seperate pieces of plane. Stepping in he attached some of the chairs he'd torn up together, making a large make shift bed. His employees could sleep there and him too should the need arise. One of his tendrils curled around Dementia and gently placed her down onto the mass of cushions. Sitting down on the edge he watched as her chest rose and fell his gaze dropping down to her newly formed scar.

"I've been dying to meet you since the day you've first arrived. Who knew it would take this long." Before he can stroke her cheek Flug stumbles in and he stands up, folding his arms over his chest. "It's about time." Flug placed the bundle of sticks down and made a fireplace using some rocks and then he gestured to Black Hat who used his lazer eye to start the fire.

"Tomorrow we look for other people." Flug nodded, more to himself than anything because Black Hat did not respond. His eyes followed the demon while he walked off towards the wreck again and by the time his boss returned he was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue eyed Dementia, blue eyed fire wielding Dementia, interesting. She seems kinda like a bitch though, doesn't she?


	18. Winter Gifts (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaay it's winter. The time for snow flurries and blizzards that melt your face off. Don't forget about the many holidays. What do they celebrate in the Black Hat manor? Come along with Black Hat and Dementia to find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know it's been a long while since I updated and I'm sorry for that; but, my moods and writer's block simply were not co-operating with me. Nevertheless, I present you with this new chapter.

Dementia was curled up on the floor in front of the fireplace, a winter catalogue in her hands. With every turn of the page her expression only became more intense. "Wow, this sled looks so cool! I'm going to have to buy it! Yes, for sure, I'm going to buy it and take it out for a run!"

"What are you going to buy?" Black Hat appeared in his favourite arm chair, and Dementia wasted no time in shoving the magazine in his face while he snorted. Eventually he snatched it out of her hands and pulled her onto his lap, nodding occasionally as she pointed out everything on her wish list. "Out of all the people in the world, my girlfriend has to be the most demanding." He sneered only to recieve a playful punch to his shoulder.

"Come on Blacksie, don't be so mean." Dementia pursed her lips.

"You can pick one thing."

"But I want a whole bunch of things." Pouting she tried not to smile as his gloved fingers brushed along her cheek.

"One thing, Demdem." She always loved it when he called her that, it must have been her favourite nickname. Unable to even put up further arguments she rubbed her cheek against his.

"Fine. I just want the sled, I'd like to slide down our hill and maybe see if I can run over some old ladies!" She bounced in his lap and he grunted before nodding and leaning his face into her neck.

"Alright then, now, how are you going to earn this gift?" He began to rake his fangs over her pale skin, tracing over the previous marks he'd made ever since they'd started dating.

"Oh my- I'll find a way." she moaned out, shuddering as she felt his digits brush along her inner thighs. He didn't relent, however, wrapping an arm around her waist and beginning to push his hips against her to which she happily grinded back. He finally bit down, kitchen knives piercing her shoulder as his claw pushed up her skirt and then dove into her tights, pressing against her clitoris from over her panties.

"You'd better," he growled, using his middle finger to press into her sex, moving his hand to slip it against her bare mound. His digits pushed inside of her and he didn't stop until she was a writhing mess ontop of him, revelling in her moans and twitches.

"Black Hat...please."

His chest rumbled the instant he heard his name on her lips. "Yes?" he purred.

"Please more..." her breath was sharp, voice hitching.

Obliging Black Hat began to pump his fingers, but he was not without quips, "My my, so greedy. Come now," suddenly both of his hands were resting on the arms of his chair. "We shall continue this later. I have errands to run and you have things to steal."

"But-" she was lightly pushed off of his lap and onto the floor, landing with a small thump.

"No 'but's, oh my, just look what you've done to my pants." Dragging his thumb along the moistness of his crotch he brought it up to his lips, licking the digit clean before he stood up. "Well, no matter. I'll simply change. I trust I'll be seeing you at the door?"

"I - uh - yes Blacksie..." Rising to her feet Dementia waddled away, clearly uncomfortable from the mess between her thighs; and he loved it. _**He'd**_ done that to her. He was the reason she could barely walk - and he'd be the only one who ever would.

With a deliciously villainous grin he headed towards the hall, snapping his fingers to let the fire flicker out. Today was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, Black Hat is such a dick. I just love him.


End file.
